CredoWriters:Wakdok,Samuel Stephen
Just Like Yesterday
It was like a dream, can you believe that I just woke up yesterday-02-2010 to find out it was one year since I lost my bachelors and my wife got her masters, one year since we got married? One year of frustration or happiness? One year of regrets or accomplishment. It was one year and the second year has begun counting again.
I recall those years when we were single. We belonged to different schools. As a single I was sure in the luv skool but I was also in the OBB gang (Original Bad Boys) and been in these two schools at a go made it mandatory for me to be in the Heart Break Academy. We knew then that heart break was the sweetest thing to do but the worst thing when you are on the receiving end. I remember one of my female friends telling me that She knows I was not ready to surrender my independence to any woman. So marriage is all about surrendering one's independence huh?hahahahahaha
But sometimes what do we need that independence for? We mostly need it for our freedom. Yet Freedom without responsibility is anarchy. So if marriage means placing responsibility on us to make us better people then it is worth it. That is the truth, Marriage is an eternal union; we go into it never to come out of it and that's what makes us responsible. To know the task ahead, to go into it and stick to it like the stamp.
I know people who were almost ten years my senior when I was in primary school, today I am one year in the institution but they are still single. It takes courage to take the bold step, and maturity to acknowledge the challenges, but it takes commitment to make it work. We can possess the three; courage, maturity and commitment.
One year is so short for me to teach others the lessons so I allow people like Precious,Ayo,Stella and Gabriel to do that. But for the singles who are not ready, please do not rush, and for those who are dragging, please procrastination is the thief of time.
I can't answer the question of what should you consider in choosing a life partner. I have come to understand that no reason is parochial as long as you can live with your decision. If you want to marry a beautiful sexy woman, please go ahead, if your desire is a rich handsome man, please feel free to get one. If you want a friend or a lover or a friend and a lover; that is beautiful. If you want a man to play a fatherly role in your life, look for one and if you want the President's daughter please do no hesitate. The major thing that matters is this ;go for your heart desire and live with it.
Marriage is a cross and a cross we must carry with joy, because without a cross there will be no crown. All I can tell you is do not carry a cross bigger than you or more than your strength will allow you. This is applicable to physical size, emotional worries, psychological stress and even financial liabilities. If you are slim and she is big, it is okay as long as you are strong. What I am talking about here not your spouse's proportion but your own capacity.
Marriage is not for the saints alone if not, only people in heaven will marry, and it is not for the sinners alone if not, only those in hell will marry. It is for saints and sinners which is what makes us human. We fall and we rise. There must be room for compassion and forgiveness in marriage. The best solution to your marital issues lie in your home, lies within the two of you and no more. She may not be the best, he may not be the best but you two can be your world. The best advice of all I got when I married was from an uncle. he said to me that anytime my wife annoys me, I should just go out and take a walk , I must not respond to my wife in anger. To me he said the best of them all. It is better to be patient, tolerant and if need be play the fool than to be the man and apply damage control later. The damage may be beyond control.
Marriage is sweet where love is served, but sometimes love is like the invisible forces of demand and supply which may tend towards perfect elasticity or inelasticity. In such circumstances we need the currency of friendship to bail it out and ensure stabilization.
For those of us who used to be in the OBB gang and Heart Academy, it is time we accepted the fact that we are no more boys and it is also a fortune for the girls that the bad boys have been taken out even if it is just me or two or three of us. I must warn the guys though that there are also the-girls out there who are razors to the pockets, they are few when we compare to the erasers who will clean off our blunders.
To all my brothers and sisters in the game, I say a big well-done and more grease because the elbow will not find it easy, for those discouraged who think it is hard, we can not be cowards, we must face our challenges and we will come out tops.
For those disappointed by their partners, do not loose faith, God has a better spouse for you. For those suffering from indecision, calm down, cool down and take charge. I am more concerned about all those who fear marriage because they can not trust or they are not trustworthy. All those who are scared because their hearts are too fragile. All those who are too beautiful to obey a man or too proud to respect their women.
When I wake up and stare at my son, I feel so great that if this is all I have achieved in my life time, then I can not be a failure. Do not get me wrong, marriage is not all about having children. For those who are still seeking the fruit of the womb God will make everything beautiful in his time, for now enjoy other fruits of marriage like love, happiness, companionship etc.
All I can say is :Thank you Lord for what you have done to us and what you are doing. It was just like yesterday but more than a year gone by
So long !!!
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